Anguish

You used to hold me
You used to love me
Now you despise the very sight of me

I know you'll never forgive me
Understand me
Look back at your time with me
It kills me

I used to hold you
I still care for you
I did it for you
I shed more tears than i can count for you

I worry about you
My stomach tightens, at the very sight of you
But i know i will never be with you
Because of what i did to you

My Soul

My Soul Aches
For Release
From the Ignorance
Of the World
Every Day
More needless
Suffering and hurt
Lives Destroyed in an Instant
War, Famine Poverty
And Pain
We fight
As if We have something to gain
Human Against human
Ripping, shredding, tearing
Plotting for survival
And yet never Preparing

My Soul Aches
For freedom from
The unknown of
Death and Afterlife
I wonder at the past
Present and Future
Hoping to find sense
To a seemingly
Meaningless life
I want to stand out
A beacon of Light
In a throng,
A Crowd of people
Repeating their
Daily patterns
Unquestioning and unknowing

My Soul Aches
For an answer
To why Mankind
Destroy The Gift
Of life and Breath
Mother Earth pleads
For a reprieve
From the posion we feed her
Black gold and smog
Slowly destroying
Infecting and Murdering



And i sit and Wonder
What God would allow this
Ancient and Continuing
Torment to Continue

My Soul shatters
Aches
And i continue to
Ponder
Why

Dolet anima mea
Mon âme souffre

So it begins

And so it begins. The year we have all been dreading yet anticipating with heavy hearts is so close to being upon us. I looked around last night at the year 12 valedictory, and all week at the departing year 12's and the raw emotion that each person felt for one another, this year was truly a talented and great bunch. Coming from a school and attempting to integrate into a completely new system, from 60 kids i knew well, to 175 kids of whom i knew about 1/3 (and know still only know 3/4 of them) was incredibly difficult, however as i look back worth every second of the challenge. As Vice Captain of the school i have come to know and love, i really want to say thank you to the year 12's who in the space of only a week i have come to know so many of. They are inspiring and amazing and though i could only name about 20, have truly touched me to become a better person and to create a better year for the class of 2011. The year is so close to ending and the greatest challenge we as a year could possibly face is rushing up so close. I must say i am a complete nervous wreck, however i cannot wait for the beginning of 2011, the beginning of the most eventful year of my life, the beginning of something special and the launchpad for my life.

Found this extremley funny letter failry sure its being sarcastic

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your Devoted Fan Jim

Journalist ethics

Never Believe anything unless it has been officially denied. Monash Lecturer Quoting famous Journalist whose name escapes me.
was Recently attending the Monash University experience day and was talked to by the head Journalism Lecturer who gave a seminar on Journalist ethics and Basics. It was simply amazing. My views on how news is presented was completely altered ,especially in situations such as the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Next year i will be undertaking a course named International Studies(in year 12) that looks at the wars going on in today's world with a high focus on terrorism and the aftermath of 9/11. My mind attention thoughts and feelings were all completely entrapped by this man as i listened to whether a man with a camera should stop brutal beatings or film the story to rely the message around the world effectively helping these people whose suffering and deaths allowed the news to travel around the world. I sat addicted as he explained that a women in the Africa's was fired from her BBC job for not filming and witnessing a demonstrated mass executions because she was sickened by the event. My passion and hope for the future is to become a Journalist or Lawyer by completing a double degree of Law/Arts i can tell you now this lecture will stay with me for the rest of my life and hopefully career. Please tell me your thought on the two situations i have presented as well as any others that you may have heard of.

I'm Caught

I'm sitting in my apartment block
Tv on mute
But still i cant stop
The tears
Falling
Down
They hit the ground, slowly

Its late at night
Upright in the dark
Without the light
The memories
Flood
My mind
And still i find, No answer

You've shared my head
My Bed,
My thoughts
But still i'm caught
On the taste
Of the bitter haste
In which you left me

We were friends for so long
Laughing at the world
Now i find I'm not that strong
I shiver
From
Cold
I feels so old, I'm aging

I remember the last time i kissed you
Standing in the rain
What slowly slipped through
Our lips
Touched
Softly
It's just too costly, to me

You've shared my head
My Bed,
My thoughts
But still i'm caught
On the taste
Of the bitter haste
In which you left me

I sit here and contemplate
On the park bench
I shudder, hesitate
I loved you
Dearly
It was clearly, not meant to be

And now i can hear the whispers
From the loveless
Abyss
And i ponder where it went wrong
And why you left me too soon

Poetry

Poetry is the emotions of the heart
The complex inner workings
Of the mind and soul
Working in sync

It is the gateway to releasing potential
Flowing out through fingertips
Onto paper scratched and torn
Creating art

The expressions of a thoughtful man
Drawing inspiration from those around him
The battle weary world
Encourages delight

The painting of literature
Onto the canvas of life
So to illumine our being
Soothing peace

Daemn Liberate Vos Ex Inferis

The being ran, his torn skin stung as he moved swiftly into the night. His cold, dead body groaned under the steady rhythm of his flight,his weight shifting slightly, he slowed to a quick jog. Standing deathly still the being listened to the night air for a trace of betrayal, but only the sound of his haggard breath and the beating of his hard metallic wings broke the unnatural silence. The moonlight shined on the silver patches of his once magnificent wings, now covered in rust unable to beat they lay by his side, dormant with a hint of power. His artificial limbs tensed as a soft breeze brushed remains of litter against the being. Scents filled the being overwhelming his senses, hitting his nostrils and taking the breath from his body. Leaping to a sudden start the being ran. Stones and shattered glass barred his way as he flew through the alleyways, his marred reflection starring back at him from the glass walls surrounding the street. As he ran sharp memories threatened to break through his consciousness, men in white coats there beautiful feathery wings folded behind their backs, clipboards in their hands, water so much water and pain. The being fell to the floor, collapsing with pain, as the memories came and went penetrating his mind flashing and disappearing just as quick. The being let out an inhumane cry that filled the night sky as he struggled to block out the pain. Gripping his head and clenching his broken wings together he rose to his feet and started to stumble through the maze of metal buildings and paved streets.

High above the being three men stood on the rooftop of a giant metal structure. The building was in the center of the city, giving its occupants a complete three sixty degrees view of the giant maze like fortress city surrounding them. The building had a cold feeling in it although its residents were the exact opposite of its appearance. The building had a twisted look to it, jagged pieces of metal protruded from the middle of the central column and came out at all angles, giving it an dead and fearsome look. Completely black the only colour on the building came at the top of its spire a bright white tip decorating it. The occupants stood and watched the being make his escape. All three were similar in appearance with subtle differences distinguishing themselves. Each angel was dressed entirely in white their beautiful wings folded elegantly behind their backs. Adorned with suits and long flowing gray cloaks, the only dark colour permitted upon them they looked like the picture of beauty. The first figure had long blonde hair, tied back with a strip of white that bore the symbol of a golden ring, high set cheekbones and a soft full face. The beings eyes flashed green adding to his brilliance, but also containing a hint of malevolence. His nose was straight and lips curved up at one side giving him an almost snide appearance, were it not for his stunning appearance he would have looked evil. The next being had a boyish face but the body of a man. He was dressed in the same fashion as the other two men but looked brighter and more elegant as if such a thing was possible. His hair curled around his face and illuminated his playful looking features. His eyes bright blue and joyful complemented his round jaw and soft skin, but it was the long scar that ran from the edge of his eye across his nose and lips to the other side of his face that marred his overall grace. The third angel seemed to be leader. He wore white gloves encrusted with a jeweled version of the symbol on the first mans cloth a golden ring. A long curled sword hung from his waist, the blade a deep golden colour and its edge had been sharpened to such a point that it would run through the hardest element. The man had a peculiar look about him, an air of command but a total lack of interest in the situation at hand. His face conveyed that boredom, though his looks preceded both of the men next to him, his face conveyed no emotion and took his beauty out. His eyes a light shade of gray drew in everything around him but again took no pleasure or pain in what he saw. His short light brown hair fell around his face adding to the majesty of his looks and was tied back with another piece of white cloth although this one was tattered and sprayed with dried blood. The being raised his eyes and spoke to the two men flanking him, "You know what to do, find him and kill him, i do not want another failure". He glanced at the two men and saw his message and been understood completely. Though his eyes betrayed no emotion the two beings shivered suddenly feeling cold though the wind was warm and they were well covered. They started to move off to the side of the magnificent structure, unfolding their elegant wings, they turned to leap into flight.
"Azrael" the being spoke softly, the being with the long blonde hair tied back with the white strip stopped and turned, nervously he swept his hair back and, moved almost gliding, over the to him.
"You may go Raziel" the man said sweeping his eyes back to the boyish faced angel. Raziel looked back at Azrael concern in his eyes, the being caught the look and tutted,
"Do not worry Raziel i am not going to harm him he has not done anything wrong...yet" the beings fingers twitched as he pointed at the edge. "Now go hunt", an edge of authority and malice crept into the beings face and voice. Raziel saw the flash in his eyes and quickly turned releasing his powerful wings and leapt into the air.
"Raphael, please what ails you"? Azrael whispered staring at the cold figure, folding his hands behind his cloak he reached into his belt and gripped his ancient dagger.
Raphael turned to the being and stared at him, "Release your dagger", he whispered dangerously, "I have need of you and do not want to kill you". Azrael raised his head and stared at the creature in front of him.
"I am sorry my lor-"
"Do not call me lord", Raphael spat at the angel standing in front of him, We serve the one and only true being he is our Lord", Raphael looked venomously down at the cowering angel but as he did his features softened. "Is eram superbia ut changed angelus in diabolus, is est humilitas ut planto men ut angels", Raphael looked out over the city covered with darkness, "Many of our brothers have fallen Azrael, you were a man once were you not?...."Yes", he said as he saw Azrael nod,"You have not lived as long as me not been in this war, it is vital you understand nothing must get in our way, we gave birth to your race we must love them". Raphael looked down at the immortal being and swept down on him embracing him in a light hug. "Liberate vos ex inferis meus frater, save yourself, now go find him". He straightened from the embrace and looked at Azrael. The angel looked determined an energy had crept into his face illuminating him. He turned to go and was stopped by a light hand, "Look after Raziel he is eager but lacks self awareness".
"I will try my brother", with those last words Azrael turned and launched himself spreading his powerful wings into the air savouring the impact of the wind and soaring after his companion.

Dead
Cold
Hard
Lost
Sorrow
Pain

Love
Longing
Mistreatment
Helplessness

Pour mon Grand-Pere

The greatest lesson
Yet one that is crushed
By an unforgiving teacher
The biggest mystery
Yet one that scarcely
Compares with what is to come
A play with uncountable acts
Each one more strangely
Satisfying and incomprehensible
A movie with endless scenes
Each twist leaving you gasping
Struggling to unravel the complicated plot
Easily ended
But it endures all
Time both the creator and reaper
For those left to mourn
The passing of a vibrant flame
Remember the impact on us all
Cruel but dear
That it was ended now
But grief is subsided in memory
We celebrate the circle
And struggle still
To understand the point of it all
But life is a celebration
And death another mystery
A stop on a never ending journey
For the adventure of one
Is criticized by many
For ignorance is a curse
A narrow minded view
Of what is to come
Death is the answer to the ultimate question
The beginning of the ultimate ride

Vengeance

History is written by the victors If we die our tale dies with us, and tyranny and lies shall reign. We battle for truth, for love. We fight and bleed for one more powerful. We anguish to keep the abyss of black at bay, to shrug away from hurtful embrace. We contradicted the one we loved, questioned him. They are flawed, a mere shadow of perfection, light bursts around the edges but never threatens to envelop the center and burn through. We have taken the fire and cleansed ourselves anew anointed with blissful burden though our love never wavers, we don't forget. Tarnished and ruined beauty marred with scars, our blasphemy our reputation. We are the tortured not the wretched souls deemed evil imprisoned within our fiery domain. The reason we rot, cast from the very paradise we helped create, rightly fear us as death, mysterious unknown, but their fear is confused. We were commanded to redirect our love from our father, to the ones moulded in our image, we refused we loved him to much we could not waste it on these inferior beings. We will have our vengeance on the cause of our sorrow. Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name. We are the fallen, mankind will pay for our loss.

Abyssus abyssum invocat

Black wings raise,
As if to lift,
Head rolls back
As if to cry
Mournful praise
The scout keens
The growl of pain,
Hatred blazes
The growl of treachery
Ripped scream
Banished from Heaven
For uncovering,
Blasphemous secret
For discovering
Creation lies
Shadows of eleven
The fallen surround
The kingdom of God
To survey and destroy
The Kingdom of deceit
Burn to the ground
Baring teeth
Cursing him for their visage
Ravaged face and body
Cursing him for their anguish
Straddling sheaths
Lucifer's Fall
Banished to hell
For loving the Father
Banished from paradise
For hating his creation
Now his murderous vengeance call
Abyssus abyssum invocat
Eyes alight with pain
With Rejection
Eyes alight with sorrow

Clouds

Bringers of Grey
Blocking heat
Illusion of Despair

Cleansing Earth
Of evil
To start anew

Dead with cold
Absorbed with warmth
Shifter of Shapes

Means for torment
Means for relief
Rarely vanish

Inspiration for many
Annoyance to all
Mythical beings ride
Cloud

Deception

True intentions
Lay beneath a smiling mask
Whilst devious thoughts float

Human nature distorted
Lies poison words
Meanwhile they revel

Personalities shift
Kindness gives way
To black, deep desires

Smell like the Sweet flower
But be the Serpent underneath
Philosophy of life

Love

Eyes as bright as the morning star
Skin shivers
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Breath escapes pouting lips
Goosebumps appear
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Hair curly, straight
Wavy feels soft
Under touch of my caressing hand

Butterfly's form in stomach
Body trembling
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Separated from her
Pulls at my soul i want her
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Always in my mind
Clouding thoughts of her
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Minutes seem like hours
Hours like days when she's
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Voice whispers softly into
my ear shivers crawl up my spine whilst
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Sacred vows form
In my uncertain throat as she's
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Walks up aisle her beauty
Lights up the room, she comes
Under touch of my softly caressing hand


Staring deep into eyes, waiting
For the line, "kiss", too late shes
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

"I love you", i whisper enjoying
the sound of the word, i love her
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Our child is born, tears in form in
My eyes, i watch her hug them both
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

The child grows old, straight back and
Proud, i weep with pride, with her next to me
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Tears form in my eyes, heart
Softly beats for she has gone, no longer
Under touch of my softly caressing hand

Our lives were long happy, and
Blissful, i miss her,
Under touch of my softly caressing hands

But soon well reunite, love
Together as one
Under touch of our softly caressing hands

Hades

Corpses strewn across dead field
Mouths opened in silent yield
Enveloped by deaths cold embrace
Hades cares not for colour or race
Spears cracked, shields shattered
Swords blunt ,helms blood splattered
Friends and enemies lie scattered
Glorious Armour dirty, tattered
Rushed down Styx by wooden boat
Upon those recent corpses, floats
Charon watches, chirps and gloats
Whilst desperate men reach for his throat
Past Cerebus lying in wait
Guarding the unholy, hells gate
Three heads watching with viscous hate
Past Cerebus onto Sisters of Fate
These three watch with rotted eyes
Under hood and woven guise
Predicting death, famine, demise
And now the corpses there evil prize
Shades of former men weep
Tears leak for those that sleep
Benefits of a life, never reaped
Condemned to the murks of Hades keep

Harbringer of Death

The Harbringer of Death ,stalked his prey, merging with shadows, blending with darkness. He slowly licks his cracked, bloody lips, scrutinizing the scrawny human a look of disdain on his face and mad glint of vengeance hanging in the corner of his eye. He swept his long dark tattered overcoat from underneath his boots admiring his strong fingers and sharpened talons. His hat fell slightly to the side revealing a hideous face, scars covered his nose and cheeks whilst a long gash starting from the base of his neck and climbing towards his horned ears dominated. He moved quickly hiding in the murky depths of air, smelling, tasting the fear emitting from the body like heat only sweeter. The human pulled her coat tighter to her body, shivering for a reason unknown to her, picking her pace up shoes echoing into an abyss of silence. The man shaped figure stepped from the air and into the world, enjoying the all too familiar feeling of pain, shaking his disfigured, ancient body, senses adjusting to the dark alleyway. He watched through demonic eyes as the human finally turned the corner suspecting but ever unknowing the fate that befell her. "A shame", the Harbringer thought, This one was unique she was a prize he would have savored, but he knew better than to let his lust overtake him ,for as beautiful as she was, she was on the list. He glided over dead autumn leaves, smiling with glee as they wasted away, to get a view of what was to come. She moved slowly now looking over her shoulder, sweat forming on her brow, she was stopping. A look of bewilderment crossed the Harbringers face, she knows he thought, she can't he counter argued with himself. He moved forward pulling a long sabre, strong and flexible, from his side muttering words as he proceeded. The woman kept staring, but there seemed to be a vacant look behind her deep, mud brown eyes. He was growing ever nearer her now still muttering words from a language known only to few. His sword burst into flames, he stopped mumbling and opened his eyes, intent shone through the bright orange pupils as he glared at his victim. Then it happened a terrible pain racked the body of the Harbringer, he dropped his sword screaming in silence with profuse pain clutching his disfigured head, falling from the air onto the hard cold concrete. The woman came out of her transfixed state and stared down at the now visible Harbringer. "So we meet again Abaddon I'm so glad you could drop in" her voice emitted through the night air like a knife cutting through butter, strange high pitched and painful to the ear.
"No it cant be" the harbinger forced himself to whisper through baited breath, "Y...your dead", he spat at the woman's feet.
Another strange sound emitted from the woman's full lips "No not dead, merely broken, i suppose half dead, now that i ponder it", the woman stopped as if in thought, "but that's not the point is it"? Abaddon stared at the woman who moments ago was his target, loathing plastered upon his face.
"You are a TRAITOR to the kingdom of Lucifer"! he bellowed, "you and all your Righteous Fallen".
"Unfortunately for you The Almighty does not see it this way", she smiled viciously and licked her lips her eyes flashed bright blue as she leaned in close to Abaddon, "You the Harbinger the most valued of all the Fallen, right hand of Lucifer himself, how precious you are, shame it has to be this way, but your on the list". She pulled out a list and dagger from inside her coat, proceeded to bring the dagger to Abaddon's chest and touch the point where his heart should have been. Abaddon grabbed the woman's blouse "Lilith don't do this, you are the only one he loves". At the sound of the last word the woman's face grew distorted with rage.
"Loved....... LOVED, he never loved me he loved the idea of me, a Fallen Arch, one who could easily gain favour with The Almighty, one who had the appearance of a cherub so that she could poison The Almighty, a tool", Lilith was breathing heavily features becoming quickly ugly and flawed. When my form was ripped from me by the hands of Lucifer when he... he discovered The Almighty and I, it was beyond pain beyond everything, I was nothing but a speck of being, and now look at me beautiful once again and with powers he", she spat onto the ground violently, "knows not". She tossed he long dark hair back and mumbled a few words "Kerach"! she yelled as she plunged the dagger into Abaddon's chest. She stared venomously at the body and turned to keep walking down the alleyway. I will know when he knows she though viciously tasting sweet revenge, How easy it was to fool him into thinking i was a human. Lilith moved to the end of the street and turned on the spot disappearing to all human eye. As she moved upwards through the sky a foxes eyes followed her upwards whimpering as it watched.

Eyes blanked over
Slowly dying
A lone man remembers
No cease to his crying
Old cheeks wrinkled
Softly spoken
Remembers the deeds
Upon, his spirit was broken
Remembers the burning
Screaming and pain
Drunk with glory
They'll remember my name
These thoughts unbearable
Drive the man to floor
Ridden with guilt
Hands covered with gore
A knife to his throat
Hands shaking and wet
No reason to live
Hell is his threat
He remembers the sights
The pungent smell of death
Dismembered and discarded
Men struggling for breath
Hands shaking, sweat on his brow
Begs air for forgiveness
Vows he is sorry
God as his witness
Sorry for acts
He was forced to do
But as he reflects
Those acts now seem crude
As his mind races
Memories resurface
Give new meaning to life
Hope and purpose
He thinks of his mates
Family and friends
He has everything to live for
Why put life to an end
Puts the knife on the counter
Finds his feet
Looks over to a table
Pictures he greets
Pictures of daughters,
Nephews and sons
There what i live for
They i should not shun
And now he thinks
Of those he has killed
And yes he is guilty
But now to rebuild
Full of sorrow
But also great hope
He moves to the door
No more to mope

People

A thousnad faces rushed by, blank looks surrounding the lone figure. He sat on a cold metal bench lost in thought, whilst the world carried on turning. People talked he thought but they dont talk about anything. People think but are vain, new toys, new cars, do they really take time to think. Technology has taken over he contemplated yelling trying to get them to understand. We trade our exsistence for pleasure. He stood discarded his coat and stepped into the rain. Now they take notice he thought quietly.

Life is but a Journey

Life is but a journey
Constantly evolving
Time is of the essence
Always revolving

A journey for old
Seems ancient to new
Yet for those about to move on
The end is due

The circle is nearly complete
Close to her mythical end
For there is no visible beginning
For those that ascend

Death is a new journey
For dearly departed
Yet they look on with hope
For the journey just started

A journey for young
Continues the chain
For the world endures
Thanks to the gain

Mistakes will be made
Lessons learned
All part of the journey
Benefits earned

Now the young are ageing
We’re halfway there
Pleasant memories mixed
With those which cause despair

Now young are old
And repeating the lesson
Life is short enjoy it
Be wary of its temptation

As they move into darkness
After living in light
They look back with fondness
Give away their fright


Death is a mystery
Father said to teen
Another journey
Into the unforeseen

And now all is peaceful
Though they are sorely missed
Embarking on their journey
Moving with bliss